Monday, January 25, 2010

Things are moving along...

So, I found out today that the BIP (Best Interest Placement) is scheduled for Wednesday. That means on Wednesday, a group of social workers and attorneys will gather in a room and decide whether I am the right mom for the boys. Everyone is telling me that it is just a formality but that does little to remove my anxiety. They will likely review my homestudy and talk about whether or not I am able to meet all of their needs as a single parent. They will probably talk about whether a White (I prefer Irish/Scottish) single woman is able to provide for the cultural needs of two Liberian/Mexican boys. I have taken part in dozens of these meetings but I have never been the subject of one and I have to admit it is terrifying. All the whatifs are driving me crazy. I feel like I should be able to at least write a letter or have some sort of participation but I will try my best to be patient. I'd like to tell them that tonight as I was tucking M into bed he decided he wanted to play a new game...the rules are that I would tell him 1 thing I love about him and then he would tell me 1 thing he loves about me...for the record...I love when he shares his toys, his beautiful brown eyes and when he feeds the dogs without my asking. He loves my eyelashes, my face and when I pick him up from school.

1 comment:

Annette Cecilie said...

Your words brought tears to my eyes. I understand how deeply those words of love and connection effected you. I'm so glad the boys have you and you have the boys. The wait is almost unbearable, and living in a fishbowl stinks, but all will be well in the end.