Sunday, May 23, 2010
"Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children." Unknown
We had a fun weekend full of birthday parties, jumpy houses, swimming and soccer. In the middle of a birthday party today, midbite of birthday cake, my little J said to me, "Mama, I don't know if my balloon got to Mama A." ** He asked if our friend, J's balloon had gotten to his birth mom, T. I told him that I didn't know either, but that I was sure that our wishes for her had found her. He liked that idea a lot.
I was surprised at his timing but not surprised that he was thinking about it. When we tried to construct a time to honor our kids' birth moms on Mother's Day, my friend and I questioned ourselves quite a bit. Our kids are little. Would they really "get" what we were doing? My little J clearly "got" it at three years old. He knows he doesn't live with Mama A and he knows that he has a permanent place in my arms. He's not confused about his place in the world but that doesn't mean he doesn't think about his first family. I love that our simple little ceremony created a safe space for him to put words to the not so simple pieces of our story.
**On Mother's Day, we told the kids that we wanted to think about our feelings about and our wishes for their birth moms. We wrote down what they said and wrote down wishes of our own and tucked them in helium balloons. We released the balloons outside after saying a little prayer for the amazing women they sought.