Saturday, June 12, 2010

Grace



"Many times, when I was having a hard time with one of my children. God would always remind me that He was having a harder time with me than I was with them."
--Charlie "Tremendous" Jones

Tonight, as I was tucking M into bed he made the observation that the wind had calmed down outside. I agreed, kissed him on the forehead and started to walk out of the room. He continued, "maybe the mama wind told him to take a deep breath".

My boy is listening. He is attaching, incorporating my words and actions into his thoughts. It is beyond beautiful. We've had a rough couple of days. Lots of testing and backtalk from him and second guessing on my part. Am I too strict or too lenient? Do I make mountains out of molehills or do I let important things slide? Looking back, I can see that it's completely age appropriate and very circumstantially understandable but in that moment...not so much. I needed to hear his simple observation today. I needed to be encouraged that we are on the right track. God knew that and he used my sweet boy and the wind gusts to show me.

I wrote up this post once and it was accidentally deleted as I tried to post the quote above into it. As I wrote it out for the second time I realized that I do the same thing to God on a daily basis. He tells me things, I don't listen; I pretend I understand his commands without really taking time out to think and pray about what that means for my life. God is so gracious with me as I try, forget, stumble and try again. I want to use that thought to motivate myself to fill my parenting with grace. Instead of responding to my kids with frustration, irritation and impatience, let me turn toward them with a smile, soft eyes and encouragement. I want my home to be filled with grace. There will be mistakes, there will be regrets but I want my kids to know that no matter what, my love for them is secure, they have significance in this world and they can persevere in times of trouble.

3 comments:

Carol Gloetzner said...

So beautiful. I love reading your posts They are full of grace.
Sometimes when I read a list of RAD symptoms, I realize how much that is my list of the distorted ways I relate to my Father- lack of trust, hoarding, refusing to ask for things, sleep disorders, worry, willfulness...
Yet He still has unlimited grace and patience for me! Still, I need His grace to pass on to them.

Dani said...

Lovely...

Thought you might like to know we are adopting again:) God opened another door, and we continue to wait on Him.

I am so happy for you and your family. I can still remember talking to you about adoption...and to know how it worked out is quite wonderful.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful insight again. You are full of God's Grace and I know that the boys are beginning to feel it in whatever they do and think. Keep posting--one day you will write a book! Love you. Your Mom